I try not to think about what it might be like to have a body and be in front of you. I try to not think about it the way I try not to think about a lot of things these days. Sometimes we spend our time counting, though neither of us know for or to what exactly. There are plots of land for homes we don’t have and views of the ocean that look like love letters. There is nothing we actually know right now. And I’m okay. I’m held in space. But there is s a lot of air here. It’s nothing like being under the water.
A lot of what I talk about lately is where I’ll be next, but I don’t have any answers. I don’t know what to say when I see people on the streets, when they’re making my coffee. What I want to tell them is, I’ll go anywhere. Baby, I’d go anywhere with you. I’ve been taking my clothes off a lot lately in the middle of nowhere and I always pretend like you’re watching. Like we’ve been here before.
I can’t remember what his hands look like. And for the first time I don’t mind.