These Terms

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This time, like most times, we play by your rules. Or I should say, we don’t play at all. Still yours. People keep on saying they can see it on me, tell me I look better, I look happier. Strangers stop me on the street. And I think it’s strange. I’m curious if having something taken away can actually make you a better version of yourself, or if the lightening of the burden, even if it is something you love can do the same. Am I better? Or am I lesser? Or are they the very same thing?

Sometimes I get angry and angry feels like too thin of a word to use for this. I feel cheated and hung out to dry. I feel like I’ve been forced to question the very nature of people and the way I keep them close. I feel like something really important has been stolen from me and I can’t look at the world like I used to. 

I am looking forward to a time and place where your shadow doesn’t hang in the doorway and the table isn’t set for two.