I can feel the future creeping in on me when I least want it to. I know it’s all coming for me. And I am hunkering down and drawing the white sheets up to my chin and watching the snow melt against the skylights. I’ve gotten better and getting along with the changes I’m afraid of. They’re coming over for dinner, we break bread and get drunk and then I ask them to leave again. I must ask myself what it is I am always asking of you. And that is how far is the gap between who you are and who you might be, and how can we reconcile the two? It is easy to lay blame on those near you for not giving you what you need. But she says to me over coffee downtown, don’t tell me you cannot see this is a two way street. Everyone will keep on taking so long as you are willing to keep on giving.