On Getting People
We get people, it is one of the joys of being alive. We let people in and learn the obscenities of their interior, the wiring and scaffolding which makes them work. But I have said it before, and will say it always, we can never truly know another person. Getting someone is not the same as knowing them, not entirely anyway.
The trickiest part of getting someone else, of clearing space for them at your table, is remembering they have the option to always excuse themselves and leave. We get people and we forget, we cannot keep them. We go about our lives with them in tow. We buy almond butter and read books. We take road trips and have Christmas. Time when in love is a fool’s errand. It tricks you into thinking you can win.
But this truth does not mean, in any way, love is ever in vain. It takes a brave kind of person, far braver than myself, to admit how temporary everything and everyone is. But a wonderful woman told me just this morning, just because a love does not last forever does not mean it is any less important. And I have been thinking on it all day long, could they be just as if not more important?
This idea, this impossibility of forever, is almost impossible to recognize. I am not so sure any of us would love so boldly if we daily took this on board. And yet I think calling on it is a shot of adrenaline to our everyday details. If you could not keep them, what would you do instead, or until then?