the countdown

I suppose somewhere in my mind this was already happening. Days and nights passing by with no regard for my need for them to slow down and stay awhile, let me enjoy these people in front of me. let me stay here. teach me how to be happy with what we have left. I’ve written short stories just like this. I feel trapped inside my own imagination and then at times I feel this intense flutter of possibility and wonder of who and what I will be now. More so, what I will create. He has taught me that there are no answers on distant shores- no aha moment . I will still be me as me, I will just be there being me. Where ever you go there you are kinda shit. I just returned from Palm Springs. I quit my jobs. And before I leave I will release my new album with Kevin for Cherokee Fade “Creek Don’t Rise” and then play four record release show. I am so proud of this album it is hard for me to see anything beyond this process, both a blessing and curse I often feel. Almost too present if possible. I will also head to Colorado for a brief vacation and photo shoot for the album and then go up north to celebrate some love at a wedding with old friends. And then when I have squeezed every last drop out of the time I have left, then Andrea and I will pack up my car and drive the 14 hours to my new life. And still I manage to find time to relax with friends, garden, drink with my mom, dine with my man and generally enjoy my time. xoxo

van