when in doubt

I find myself on a daily basis taking up with everything I can possibly hold on to at once. It is almost as if the juggling of projects and the bouncing of wild ideas has taken the place of progress itself and how wildly inaccurate that can be. When I find myself in moments of shades or periods of doubt I find it best to walk. I have had many teachers in life as well as in books tell me that the greatest ideas come from a nice walk. I write or at best I try to write and when the words feel forced and stale I stay to write some more and then I walk. I like to walk along the dirty alleyways that run through this strange town that seems to border on both greatness and poverty simultaneously. What a strange place this is, I must admit and yet on a daily basis I am taken by it. It’s nearly barren of poetic nuances and yet I find myself singing in between the melody everywhere. I suppose it’s never the place but always the person. So this brings me to my next thought. The place or the people? Would I love it here so much if all the or at least most of the people I love in the world were not here? Would Minnesota have been what it was had I not taken up with the wildly handsome young man from my childhood? Would anywhere be so special if not for the individuals that colored your days in the times you were there? So, if I go to Idaho and leave everyone I love behind is there the great possibility that I may too find people to love in Idaho and therefore love the place. Or if I find no one am I destined to resent the location? Which comes first? Doubt or the walk?

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