goodbye dreams

I had these dreams last night. I had a feeling it would be the last time I saw you. It was a broken down abandon barn that I assume existed somewhere far off our paths now, one of the last spaces left between my dream world and yours. There used to be entire cities where we would meet. Years have eroded our world together. It’s been so long. So many years have passed and yet seeing you, I was nineteen again. I never loved any one the way I loved you then. Young love. I have never been so self aware in a dream. I have never known I was dreaming, kissing you because I knew it had no consequence. Knowing it would be the last time we found each other, even in a dream world, was in a way a relief. I had a friend suggest to me last night, in regards to how I was handling your marrying off, that I should find it a bit of: a fresh breath, a relief, from that possible, that maybe, or what if that seemed to never go away. Truth is I let go of maybe and what if years ago after the funeral on Main Street that brought us all back together that bitter February. I wrote a song about all of this and I make jokes because the truth is I am happy. I am so happy for you and although you very well may never know, I told you last night in the dream.