Deciding if and how all this works out. I spend the early mornings hovering between the strangest sleep space and sunrise. I like the way 5 am smells with the windows down near the ocean. No one is out yet. Like time hasn’t started the day hasn’t yet begun. Everyone just vibrating on a quiet level. Can you hear the silence? Can you feel it? So I sit through those hours with book in hand, too in between to write for myself. I’m getting ready to leave tomorrow morning for Squaw Valley for a writing program I used to dream about during my undergrad. They gave me a scholarship. I’m always the charity case. I’m more than okay with it. I find reaffirming.